Enough Already

I promise this blog will not always be about the Braves, but now I'm seriously starting to get worried. I knew the Braves and Heyward were unstoppable with me around, but I had no idea they would be so completely helpless without me. The Braves are now 0-2 without me and Jason Heyward is still batting .000 (0 for 9 with 5 strikeouts...4 of which came tonight) without me.

Again, compare those stats with the 2-0 start the Braves had with me in attendance and Jason Heyward's .375 average, homer, 2 runs, and 5 RBI. Since I last attended a Braves game, their winning percentage has been chopped in half and Heyward's season average has tumbled almost 200 points to .176. The evidence is irrefutable. It was all fun and games for a while, but this is getting worse by the second. Now is the time for action.

I think it's time to start a petition. If you care about the Braves' and/or Jason Heyward's success this season, please consider the comments section below your opportunity to sign a petition demanding that the Braves and/or Jason Heyward pay me to attend games. I won't even demand much in contract negotiations because I just care that much about what is at stake. I personally can't think of a more worthy cause.

Think I'm crazy? Think the Braves are above paying a good luck charm to attend games? Then you obviously don't remember this guy:

Chief Noc-A-Homa

I won't even require a teepee.