Not much interesting to write about since my last post, so here are a few lessons I've learned lately:
1. Don't taunt your friends while at their mercy on a tube behind a ski boat. In particular, I would refrain from pretending to yawn and/or reclining with your hands behind your head as if enjoying a leisurely ride behind a weak machine with an inept driver. Such gestures are now confirmed to lead to painful rib injuries and bruised egos.
2. Fried feasts of shrimp, chicken, catfish, corn nuggets, and fried green tomatoes will crash the highly-touted Daily Plate website and make Lance Armstrong cry.
3. Calories from free food apparently count as much as calories from food you buy. This just doesn't seem right, but if indeed true, I could be facing the single greatest challenge of my life. How do I balance financial responsibility with caloric responsibility? The way I see it, there is only one logical solution: demand healthier, tasteless, sugarless, and meatless free food from everyone I know and less of it.
4. Lawns don't mow themselves.
5. Dishes don't wash themselves.
6. Blogs don't write themselves.
7. Fantasy baseball teams don't manage themselves.
8. Oddly, naps DO take themselves.
I feel so bad, Michael...hahaha...I promise I never meant to hurt you physically or emotionally, (okay maybe just a little physically.) :) Hey that’s just pay back for my butt and arms hurting were I was desperately holding on for dear life when you were driving and I WAS trying to have a fun leisure ride on the tube. :)
ReplyDeleteWhatever. Just know that I'm already researching and plotting the best angles and speeds to take you through churning figure-eights and doughnuts next time.
ReplyDelete