Widespread Panic's Dirty Side

Widespread Panic. From left to right: JoJo Hermann (keyboards), Sunny Ortiz (percussion), Jimmy Herring (lead guitar), Todd Nance (drums), Dave Schools (bass), and John Bell (guitar and lead vocals)

Reader Warning: extremely verbose and wordy music review of a compact disc album written below in far too many words that didn't have to be used and weren't necessary. If you are not interested in Widespread Panic or why I love them, crank your new Justin Bieber CD and wait for the next season of American Idol to tell you who to like. Just kidding (mostly), but my ramblings on music tend to be my longest and if it isn't your thing, I completely understand if you sit this one out. In fact, this is more like several really long posts. If you know the basics of Widespread Panic and "jambands," you may want to skip the first section or two to get to my actual thoughts on their new album, Dirty Side Down. If you could care less about my specific take on each new song, but have even a passing interest in what makes Widespread Panic so special, the first section or two might be worth a gander.

Jambands, Widespread Panic, and my experience with them:

Widespread Panic as they were when I started listening to them.

I was introduced to Widespread Panic about 15 years ago by my oldest brother. I was in high school and did not seek out much music for myself (something I still don't do). Like most people, I just listened to whatever was on the radio. Unlike most people, I was fortunate enough to have two (significantly) older brothers in or just out of college at the University of Georgia. In Athens, they both experienced the blossoming music scene of America's greatest college town. Around this time (early to mid-90s), each exposed me to what would become several of my favorite bands to this day. John introduced me to Widespread Panic, David to Vigilantes of Love, and I credit both of them with my interest in Dave Matthews Band.

Little did I (or most of the people my age) know, but by the time I was wearing out that first homemade Panic compilation in the tape deck of my mom's '87 Crown Victoria (not knowing the names of most of the songs to which I was listening), Athens' own Widespread Panic had been cultivating a Grateful Dead-like following for about a decade. To tell you the truth, at that time, I couldn't have told you what a "Grateful Dead-like" following would have been. I had heard of the Grateful Dead and remembered a weird video in the 80s where the band was a bunch of skeletons singing on a stage. That was all I associated with them for most of my life.

Driving a tan version of this in high school might have been what made me so cool.

It wasn't until my first Panic show during my freshman year at UGA (the free concert/CD-release party that drew 100,000+ fans to the streets of downtown Athens in 1998), that I began to grasp just how popular and successful a band could become without me (or anyone else) ever hearing them on the radio. I was only beginning to discover that (like the Grateful Dead before them), Panic actually allowed and encouraged fans to record their live shows to trade with (but never sell to) each other. The practice of "tape trading" put the band's live music into the eager hands of fans and, conveniently, helped the artists expand their fanbase at no cost to themselves. Panic, Phish, DMB, Blues Traveler, and countless others have followed the Dead's permissive audience recording policy (and clever business model) and ridden it to varying degrees of success. Without a single album recorded (and no YouTube or Facebook to promote themselves), up-and-coming bands allowing audience recording were often stunned to sell out shows and have fans singing along in states and towns in which they had never played.

Panic in the Streets: My first Panic experience with 100,000 other fans freeloading in downtown Athens. The stage is at the top of the picture and that shell-shocked dot about a quarter of the way down is me.

Despite the ready-made fanbases that helped managers sell these bands to record companies, these "jambands" (as they are often collectively called) have never survived and thrived primarily off record sales or radio play. They are often lumped together (despite diverse musical and songwriting styles) because they live and die by ticket sales to their endless tours, themselves filled with seemingly endless songs, solos, and improvisation. Their live shows feed off crowd energy and often feature guest musicians and crowd-pleasing cover songs. The casual listener (or Rolling Stone critic) often does not have the patience for an entirely instrumental song, let alone a three-hour setlist with five or ten 15-minute songs (complete with--gasp--several minutes without vocals). Sprinkle in 40,000 hippies and frat boys dancing and shaking to songs the new listener has never heard and it is easy to understand why many quickly decide it is not for them.

Whether because of an honest difference in musical taste or a lack of an attention span, I recognize that this music isn't for everyone. I think many more would like it if they gave it a chance, but that's largely a topic for another day. My best attempt at quickly selling you on this musical philosophy might start with what I told a skeptical friend of mine in college:

You get far more music for your money at a jamband concert than at most. Even if you aren't one to be floored by long solos, jams, or improvisation, it's significantly better than silence or crowd noise between songs. At worst, you can view the instrumental parts as commercials (except that the music is way better than commercials and if you don't run to the bathroom during every jam, you'll likely be surprised by how much one of them eventually pulls you in).

More recent Panic.

Also, the catalog of songs Panic draws from each night is literally hundreds deep. They intentionally go three and four nights in a row without repeating a single song and when they finally do repeat a song, their improvisational nature guarantees it will be different than the last time you heard it. For jambands, the creative element is not forgotten the moment they leave the studio. Every show's setlist and specific performance of a song is a work of art in and of itself. Fans recognize this and are fiercely loyal, repeat customers.

I like a number of these jambands to some degree, but for a number of reasons, Panic has been my favorite for a while now. When someone vaguely familiar (or entirely unfamiliar) with Widespread Panic hears a little of their music and doesn't see anything special about it, believe it or not, I completely understand. They don't have a gimmick. No violins, horns, banjos, or accordions. No charismatic front-man prancing around the stage. No tongue-twisting lyrics. What they do have is straight-forward, unassuming southern rock. Even the "southern rock" label doesn't do it justice. There's a lot of rock in Widespread Panic, but also plenty of subtle influences from New Orleans jazz to 70s funk to ancient Mississippi blues.

Lead singer John Bell (J.B.) doesn't have to dance around the stage to get the crowd moving.

If you haven't gone out of your way to hear Widespread Panic, you probably haven't heard Widespread Panic. Maybe at a party or a bar on occasion, but you probably didn't know who it was. When you first hear them, you might think you heard some of the more melodic songs on the radio, but you probably didn't. They have those singalongs that sound like they might have been huge hits (especially when the crowd is roaring through the opening lines or a chorus), but they weren't. The cool thing is that they seem to be completely okay with it. They just keep going out night after night and playing for the people that want to hear them. They humbly and gratefully accept whatever accolades come to them.

J.B. thanks the crowd at Panic's induction into the Georgia Music Hall of Fame.

So, what do these people want to hear? Obviously, it varies by fan and occasion, but constant themes seem to simply be family, friends, and good times. I might want to hear a particular song that's been in my head for weeks at the next show. There are songs I have to hear in particular situations. Camping trips or drives through the mountains aren't complete without a little "Surprise Valley." Beach or lake weekends require "Coconut." Many nights with my buddies have ended with "Nobody's Loss." Any happy occasion is right for "Porch Song" or "Ain't Life Grand" (though the latter is fairly dark, if you aren't paying close attention to the lyrics, the music and chorus feel pretty upbeat).

Simply put, it is just good music. Panic's lyrics are filled with generally positive messages and the occasional dark undertone. Are there better songwriters and musicians out there? Absolutely. Are there many bands that combine both elements as effectively? I would argue that there are not. They have countless songs that reflect on the good and bad in life, songs that set heavier issues aside to make you laugh, and songs that simply rock for the sake of rockin'. By all accounts, they are friendly and generous to those around them and their communities. As such, they should be a point of pride for anyone that has ever called Athens home. Add to that the fact that a lot of my friends, brothers, and I have shared a lot of good times through this music, and there is a lot of sentimental attachment to this band for me.

Giving back: I understand the whole band to be pretty charitable, but highlights of my very limited interaction with the band were a couple of drum demonstrations Sunny did for my students at my old school (thanks to some well-connected co-workers of mine at the time).

Panic (and other jambands) Struggle in the Studio

With all that said, the purpose of this post is to review Widespread Panic's latest STUDIO release, Dirty Side Down. Not only do jambands' record sales typically fall well short of their ticket sales, but many of their own fans readily admit that their favorite band's best work is rarely done in the studio. Your guess is as good as mine as to why that is. Maybe it is the the tedious process of recording a few songs over and over for months versus the energy and excitement generated by working a crowd into a frenzy with different setlists every night on the road. Whatever the reason, out of about 30 studio albums from my two or three favorite jambands, there are only 6 or 8 that I'd remotely consider in one of those "stranded on a deserted island" hypotheticals (and I don't even listen to those much anymore).

Specifically in Panic's case, their studio work has been less than spectacular since the death of lead guitarist Michael Houser in 2002. Some of it I have really liked, some of it bored me a bit, and some of it even made me cringe a little. Obviously his unique sound and lingering lead are sorely missed by many, but I think something bigger has been missing in the creative process since Houser's loss. Their live shows remain top notch as I understand it. I haven't seen them in a couple of years, but they still seemed at the top of their game when I last saw them. I miss his sound, but the live music is still fantastic, particularly with the addition of Jimmy Herring (formerly of Allman Brothers, the Dead, and others). I understand that though he wasn't the lead singer, Houser played a key role in the songwriting process. To their credit, Panic has enlisted help from other songwriters on the last few albums.

Michael Houser

For me, the last few albums (two with George McConnell on lead guitar and one with Jimmy Herring) had some bright spots and I tried really hard to make myself like as much of it as I could. I'd buy them, listen to them everywhere I went for a few weeks, and pretty quickly forget about them. The handful of really good songs on each one just didn't warrant digging through my CD case while on a busy highway. On the occasions that one of those CDs found itself in my stereo, its stay was usually a short one. After enjoying a decent song or two, I'd start convincing myself that maybe I hadn't given this album a fair shake. Then, as soon as I heard lyrics like "Boom, boom, boom" or as soon as I was reminded how uninspired the studio version of a live favorite like "Ribs and Whiskey" was, that studio effort was relegated to the nearest empty Led Zeppelin or Jack Johnson CD case, not to be seen again for months or years.

That's not to say that those albums aren't better than 99 percent of what's on the radio. They just aren't Panic's best work. Fairly or not, I hold them to a higher standard. Aside from missing Houser's sound and some seemingly forced songwriting, keyboard player JoJo Hermann disappeared as the occasional vocal changeup on the newer albums. From 1986 to 2002, front man John Bell (J.B.) sang lead vocals on most songs, but there was always at least a song or two sang by Houser and, starting in the mid-90s, a song or two sang by JoJo on each album. No question J.B.'s bluesy howls and growls have always been the best vocals of the three, but they each added a different vocal dimension and songwriting tone that kept it interesting. Houser's vocals tended to often sound dark and depressing which made the generally positive and uplifting messages coming through them ironic and, after his passing, bittersweet.

One more picture of Houser just because this one is really cool. That's JoJo in the background, likely singing about wooly mammoths or cooking red beans.

Obviously, you can't fault the band for Houser's absence, but JoJo's is another story. Why a second band member's strengths were unnecessarily set aside is beyond me. Sure, his keyboards are still there, but it seems like even that was more often pushed to the background. Without him taking the lead on anything in a while, few songs have had that New Orleans jazz, boogie-woogie, or funk feel. I don't want all my Panic to sound like that, but a song or two per album was always a nice touch. Some fans may not be crazy about some of his sillier songs, but he rarely sang anything I didn't like. While most of his stuff is far less serious than the rest of Panic's repertoire, I've always found JoJo's light-hearted sense of humor refreshing and sorely missed, particularly on albums following such a tragedy.

Point being that recent Panic albums haven't been terrible by comparison to most of the awful music out there, but they've lacked a lot of the diversity and depth of their own work pre-2002. To be fair, I (and many other fans) have probably had expectations way too high at times in the last 8 years given all that they have battled through. Even as I write this, my expectations for this album are probably too high, but I'll try to be reasonable.

Oh yeah, about that new album...

Anyway, all that is to say that Panic's recent studio stuff has been hit and miss. When I randomly visited their website a month or two ago and saw that they had a new album coming out May 25, I wasn't terribly surprised that I hadn't heard about it. I haven't followed them much in the last couple of years and none of my friends seem to have been bowled over by recent albums either. Still, I made a mental note and cautiously looked forward to the release. Despite the relatively negative tone to some of the above comments, I have always tended to give each release more credit than it probably deserved when it first came out. When other Panic fans I knew dismissed each album, I maintained that there was some good stuff on it and that it was better than the last one. Even as my musical attention wandered elsewhere (effectively confirming my essential agreement with the opinions of others around me), I honestly hoped and believed that they would eventually put out another truly great album given enough time (especially with the rave reviews the live act still gets with the addition of Jimmy Herring).

Jimmy seems to fit in well on tour, but it has been a while since a great Panic album. I'm cautiously optimistic that Panic + Jimmy will eventually translate to even better things in the studio.

Well, I was so excited about their second album with Jimmy that I completely missed the release date. I remembered a day or two after the album came out and still did not get around to buying it until Sunday. That may not mean much to a casual music fan, but if you knew me during or shortly after college, my missing the release of anything Dave Matthews Band or Widespread Panic was unheard of. Maybe I'm getting old or beginning to gain a little perspective on priorities with some real life responsibilities, but I still surprised myself. After reading a couple of mixed reviews Sunday (no surprise as even the best Panic albums are often panned by critics), I got pretty excited when one review compared it very favorably to my favorite Panic release, Til the Medicine Takes. After a couple of listens and twenty introductory paragraphs, here are my gut reactions to each song and Dirty Side Down as a whole (with the caveat that I reserve the right to like it much more or less in a few weeks)...

One more picture just to delay the actual review a little longer. This is J.B. He's an outstanding singer.

1. Saint Ex: First time through, I couldn't help but wonder why they would open a CD with such a slow and mellow song. They've done this a time or two before and I just prefer that any artist open an album (or a show) with one of their faster, catchier tunes. That being said, especially with another listen or two, it picks up with a nasty little guitar lick several times in the middle, some JoJo on the organ, and the lyrics paint vivid pictures. J.B. harmonizing with himself sounds great. At times, his lower vocal track sounds a little like Houser. In fact, the tone of the whole song isn't that unlike something Houser would have written. Pretty good mixture of dark and light. Not a bad tune at all. I'd probably just put it a track or two later, but that's a small nit to pick. And no one's really asking me.

2. North: Wow. Now, this sounds like Widespread Panic. Old Widespread Panic. Actually, this is a cover of a Jerry Joseph song that they've played for years, so it's more like New Panic covering Old Panic covering Jerry Joseph. Even so, it is probably my single favorite studio track from them in eight years. Fast song. Stops, starts, and solos are INCREDIBLY tight. JoJo gets plenty of volume again and shines with some of his funky organ work. Absolutely phenomenal, soaring guitar solo from Jimmy. This one is about far more than individual parts though. Panic has always been at their best when they function as one big, six-headed monster. If not for the absence of crowd noise, I'd swear this was a live track from one of my favorite shows. I can't listen to this one enough and keep fighting the urge to dance. Trust me, it is a noble fight as no one needs to see that ugly display.

This is what I pictured when I heard "North" (only A LOT louder).

3. Dirty Side Down: I love the music as this song starts. Immediate high hopes. Then, J.B. starts singing really low. I've never been a big fan of this and I don't remember him doing it much until some of the newer albums. I think it's almost out of his vocal range and I'm sure he has to sing it really softly, first thing in the morning, while wearing a Darth Vader mask to do it. Despite my initial discomfort with the vocals, the music is catchy and it was growing on me by the time I heard it the third time. I hope it doesn't become like the other recent song or two where he did that ("Sparks Fly" maybe?). It got on my nerves all over again every time I braved another listen.

J.B. crooning "Dirty Side Down" to Luke, opera-style

4. This Cruel Thing: First truly soft, slow song. This is about the right time to slow it down for me on an album. I want at least two or three rockin' songs before my ears are ready for a break. Slow songs always take longer to grow on me and this was no different, but by the third or fourth listen, the little nuances were jumping out at me like (what I assume is) the baritone, country sounding guitar solo. This is also some of J.B.'s best vocals so far on the CD. Written by Vic Chesnutt, a close friend of the band that recently passed away, this isn't a bad song, but not one I listen to much yet.

5. Visiting Day: I was really interested to hear this one. A Panic original that's been played live for years, it was also always sung by JoJo (see my comments above about his vocal absence on the last few albums). Keeping my fingers crossed that J.B. hadn't taken over the vocals, I expected to hear the slower to moderate-paced, dark JoJo song I knew from the early 2000s. As I said earlier, JoJo songs are typically upbeat and often kind of funny, so what I expected wouldn't have even been a typical JoJo song in my mind. I was just hoping it was still JoJo singing it. Suddenly, this fast, bouncy, blues riff starts, the organ mirrors it, and JoJo starts singing a complete reinvention of "Visiting Day." Another great thing about this one is that even with speeding it up, it still clocks in at about five and a half minutes. So, every time you start to worry it's about to end, that blues lick kicks into high gear again. The booming drums and line about "eating chicken on the hill with Will" at the climax make me smile every time. I always liked the song okay, but this new version instantly rivals "North" for my favorite song on the album. Well done, boys.

I was beginning to wonder if Panic had left JoJo on this beach in the Bahamas a few years ago.

6. Clinic Cynic: Very pleasant surprise. I had forgotten about this one. A fair studio version was on a demo that leaked between Til the Medicine Takes and Don't Tell the Band (many of the songs on which ended up on Don't Tell the Band, albeit in different forms). The great thing about this one is that drummer Todd Nance makes a rare appearance on lead vocals. I always thought he was a decent but unspectacular singer (I originally mistook him for Houser the first couple of times I heard him sing), but he sounds great on this. He sang "Down" on Don't Tell the Band and maybe a song or two on the newer albums, but I always liked this better than "Down." J.B. always harmonizes well and this is no exception. Producer John Keane adds steel guitar to give this a welcome country feel. That diversity of sound and lead vocals that I missed on the last few albums appears to be here. Fantastic. Minor quibble with the track order again: I initially worried they might have put the only two non-J.B. songs side-by-side. As it turns out, there's more non-J.B. stuff to come, but I still might have spaced it out more. I'm being really picky here though. Great song and I can listen to them in whatever order I want.

I always thought Todd looked kind of like John Smoltz. Not so much in this picture, but sometimes...Anyway, he might not be able to throw a fastball, but he can play drums, sing, and make funny faces...all at the same time!

7. St. Louis: Musical commercial time for some people. Very solid instrumental song for me. Soft, noodling opening gives way to some funky organ and maybe some brief clavinet from JoJo. All woven together nicely with Jimmy's guitar. These two really seem to be meshing well together. Speaking of meshing well...

8. Shut Up and Drive: Seamless transition from St. Louis into a driving bass line and steady drum beat reminiscent of Panic classics like "Rock" and "Pigeons." Some prickly organ lines in the opening seconds later become more sustained, dark undertones for Jimmy to lay some first-rate solos over. The basic guitar hook for the song is infectious as well. Did J.B. just come out of an extended jam on a very "Pigeons-like" song by singing "Wake up"? Did he think he was actually singing "Pigeons," is it a coincidence, or is it some kind of homage to themselves? Weird, but no matter. The second song on the album to reach almost seven minutes (much to some critics' dismay, I'm sure), I'm very pleased with this one (the other was Saint Ex which wasn't bad, but not one of my favorites on here right now). A very solid, foot-tapping groove throughout this one.

J.B., apparently still light-headed from his use of Vader's breathing apparatus, thought he was singing "Pigeons" for a moment. Sounded good though.

9. True To My Nature: Starts off well enough musically. Up-tempo number through the verses with some well-penned lyrics, slows down for the first part of the chorus and kind of bogs down for me lyrically and musically. Then, it suddenly speeds up again for a second part of the chorus. Even weirder, I'm just not getting what the song is about. One minute he sounds serious and contemplative singing about kids playing and being "true to (his) nature" and then next he and JoJo are both singing about eating gator in New Orleans. None of the parts are bad musically or lyrically in and of themselves, but they just feel like parts of two or three different songs jammed together. Maybe I'm missing something that I would get better with lyrics in front of me, but even if the lyrics make any sense, I'm just not crazy about the two or three musical square pegs they jammed into this round hole of a song. Maybe it will grow on me, but this feels like the first real stretch on the album for me. I'll give it a few more listens, but this one may end up being a "skipper." If I'm not thinking that until track 9, I think we have a pretty good album here.

While "True To My Nature" had a little JoJo, it wasn't a highlight for me. JoJo's hands going supersonic: always a highlight.

10. When You Coming Home: A slow song, so it didn't grab me like "North" or "Visiting Day" the first time through, but I really like this one a lot. I'd compare it to "Blue Indian" on Til the Medicine Takes just because of the light swing rhythm and country sound (more steel guitar from Keane), but it's more of a quiet, love song with some delicate vocals by J.B. Some of his best singing on the album to me.

11. Jaded Tourist: Starts off with a couple slow guitar and piano riffs and I'm thinking "Okay, two slow songs in a row might be a bit much." Then, JoJo starts pounding on the keys a little and suddenly I've got my first new JoJo song in a few years. I can't tell you how excited I was the first time I heard the opening notes focus on the piano, speed up, and then give way to JoJo singing. My expectations might have gotten too high too quickly, but they were met so quickly that it didn't even matter. This one is fun, fast, and references Superman. What more can I ask for? It also features an Allman Brothers-sounding guitar solo from Jimmy, J.B. kicking in a few vocals for an almost gospel bridge, and a Professor Longhair-influenced breakdown on piano from JoJo. Very pleased.

Fortunately for Panic, the Man of Steel approves of "Jaded Tourist."

12. Cotton Was King: They fool me with another slow intro before it breaks into a pretty catchy groove. Not as crazy about the very brief chorus at first, but it could be a lot worse (see "Boom, boom, boom" on the last album). The good thing is that the only part I don't much care for makes up literally 10 or 15 total seconds of an almost six-minute song with tons of excellent piano and guitar solos. And who am I kidding? I've been known to defend songs with lyrics such as "The tires are the things on the car that make contact with the road" (not a Panic song, by the way). And I couldn't even write that myself, so if the chorus of an otherwise good Panic song is talking about inanimate objects being royalty, so be it. The more I listen to it, it reminds me a little of "All Time Low." Not a bad song to close with at all.

The Verdict:

The main head-scratcher for me is that after a number of listens now, I don't really recall any moments where Schools or Sunny stood out. There were a few catchy and driving bass lines, but I always enjoy a little Sunny bongo break and Schools going off on a lead guitar-like bass run (see "Surprise Valley" and "Thin Air"). That said, I'm ecstatic that they got JoJo more involved, so I'll stop the griping there. Plus, if they did it on every album, I guess it wouldn't be so mind-blowing every time. With only one or two songs I expect to skip much and very few complaints after a few listens, I think I can genuinely say that I like this album (and not just compared to the crap-tastic stuff on the radio). It is no Til the Medicine Takes, but there are definitely aspects and moments that remind me of it.

How do you misplace this guy? Even his picture is huge. I thought I was downloading it with dial-up internet.

Highlights for me: "North" could have been among the best songs on any great Panic album. "Shut Up and Drive" and "Cotton Was King" would fit in as solid tracks on most, if not all Panic albums. "Visiting Day," "Clinic Cynic," and "Jaded Tourist" provided variety and surely lifted some pressure off of J.B. to fill the whole album.

Not bad with potential to grow on me: For what they are (an instrumental and a slow love song), "St. Louis" and "When You Coming Home" are as nicely done as anything Panic has done in those areas. That said, songs like that are rarely highlights for me until I know them much better. "Saint Ex" is not one I go straight to when I just have a few minutes in the car, but it seems like it wouldn't be a bad song live (or on a longer drive). "Dirty Side Down" would probably be a highlight if I could just get over the low vocals in the verses and bridge. Already growing on me, but just not enough to be a favorite yet.

Will probably be skipped until I'm really bored with everything else on here: "This Cruel Thing" and "True To My Nature." There's not really anything wrong with "This Cruel Thing." It's just a slow song that hasn't grabbed me yet. And I've already expressed my confusion with "True To My Nature."

Much of this album sounds like it could have been recorded by these guys.

At the end of the day, there is a lot more for me to like here than there is to dislike. This album comes far closer to the Panic I became obsessed with in college than anything in almost a decade. I don't want to jinx this album or my enjoyment of it, but I really do think the newer albums have gotten a little better each time, especially this time. Is it an all-time great Panic album for me? Probably not. Introducing someone new to Panic, I'd start them with almost anything pre-2002 before recommending this album (especially Til the Medicine Takes, Ain't Life Grand, Space Wrangler, or a live compilation). But Dirty Side Down is so much better than the last few albums that it almost feels like one of those older albums. That is a tremendous relief for me as a music fan. There is now no doubt in my mind that this band isn't done until they want to be.

To My Students: What I Learned From You

As most of you know, my teaching position was recently eliminated as a part of budget cuts in my school system. Obviously, this was very unpleasant and no one likes looking for a new job in this economy, but I can honestly say I am more upset to be leaving so many wonderful kids and co-workers behind. I will miss them all immensely (even the occasionally difficult ones).

So, it has come to my attention that some of my students have discovered this sad, little blog. I've done my best to say "thank you and goodbye" to as many as I could, but since it is impossible for me to round up all 350 or so kids I taught or coached and the countless others I got to know through other school activities in the last two years, I thought I'd post a few words on here in hopes that a few more of them would know how much they mean to me. I tried to say something like this to some of them, but I had a really hard time putting it into words on the spot. So, here goes take two.

The main thing I'd like to say to all of you is thank you so much for being an amazing group of people. I got to know all of you during a really unique and difficult time in my life and I have no doubt that you were all put into my life when you were for a reason. I'm not really sure what the big picture reason is that I now have to leave, but I'm sure there is a reason for that too. But back to why I think you were exactly what I needed during my time here...

I have never wanted to burden my students with my personal life and I won't start now, but I do want to let you know that you helped me far more than I ever helped you. Your kindness, generosity, positive attitudes, hard work, senses of humor, etc. got me through a lot of days that would have been far more difficult anywhere else. I can't imagine going to work in a cubicle in an office for the last two years. Who would I tell to sit down and be quiet? Who would listen to me go on and on and on about how important and interesting Marbury v. Madison was? Who would cheer me on through four pounds of lasagna? Whose names would I regularly pretend to forget? Who would make t-shirts and Facebook groups for me when I got laid-off? Even if I couldn't have put my finger on it, I would have known something tremendous was missing in my life.

More than that, you all gave me purpose. You gave me something to care about other than myself when it was tempting to do just that. It is far too easy for us to get caught up in our own problems and be completely oblivious to the needs of everyone else around us. If there is one thing you have taught me, it is that I need to be more kind and generous to those around me. You never know how you could impact someone with just a kind word or a pat on the back. What you say and do can be the difference in them having a great day or a miserable day.

Without even knowing it, many of you did these things for me and I will be forever grateful for that. Every hello, smile, and head nod in the last two years was genuinely appreciated. They all reminded me that I was part of something important, that I had a responsibility to you and your parents, and that I owed you more effort than the day before. Now, I'd challenge you to make it a point to do those things purposefully in the future. It comes so naturally to so many of you, I can only imagine the impact you would all have on those around you with a conscious effort to turn it up a notch. Particularly, please extend that kindness to the kids you don't know as well or even like as much. They need friends too.

I'd also like to be clear that this doesn't just apply to the straight-A students and my Proud Panthers (all of which I'm extremely proud). I cared about every last one of you, even the most challenging class clowns and habitual sleepers. You also gave me purpose and many of you rose to challenges that I think surprised even you. And to those of you really struggling, you have given me plenty of reasons to be proud and I'm still pulling for you. You are all capable of so many great things. I fully intend to visit and come to some sporting events, so I look forward to getting updates from you all personally. I'm also leaving behind a lot of good friends that will still be teaching and coaching you, so I'll know if the updates you give me are accurate or not.

You have all meant so much more to me than I'll ever be able to express. Thanks again for being daily blessings in my life and I will miss you all.

What Have We Learned?

Not much interesting to write about since my last post, so here are a few lessons I've learned lately:

1. Don't taunt your friends while at their mercy on a tube behind a ski boat. In particular, I would refrain from pretending to yawn and/or reclining with your hands behind your head as if enjoying a leisurely ride behind a weak machine with an inept driver. Such gestures are now confirmed to lead to painful rib injuries and bruised egos.

2. Fried feasts of shrimp, chicken, catfish, corn nuggets, and fried green tomatoes will crash the highly-touted Daily Plate website and make Lance Armstrong cry.

3. Calories from free food apparently count as much as calories from food you buy. This just doesn't seem right, but if indeed true, I could be facing the single greatest challenge of my life. How do I balance financial responsibility with caloric responsibility? The way I see it, there is only one logical solution: demand healthier, tasteless, sugarless, and meatless free food from everyone I know and less of it.

4. Lawns don't mow themselves.

5. Dishes don't wash themselves.

6. Blogs don't write themselves.

7. Fantasy baseball teams don't manage themselves.

8. Oddly, naps DO take themselves.

Fantasy Eating Website

This is not a healthy man. Gone are the days of the 2-pound burger challenges, 4-pound lasagna-eating contests, and ranch dressing chugs...for now...depending on how much money is on the table.

With fantasy baseball, most blogs, and many UGA message boards blocked at work, my newest internet diversion is both healthy and educational. After losing 8 pounds in 10 days, I adamantly endorse http://www.thedailyplate.com/. My brother got me into this fascinating "Food Diary" website that helps you set health and weight loss goals and then helps you track nutrition information throughout your day, week, month, etc. It quickly becomes a game or a personal challenge. And it gives you something to do when you're bored at work. During lunch and breaks only, of course.

Realistically, I recognize that the first few pounds are the easiest (been down this road a few times myself), but having to chronicle everything you consume in a day is motivating to say the least. With a daily calorie goal of about 1700 calories, it only took one day of free food at work and a night at a Mexican restaurant to recognize just how absurd the occasional 5600-calorie day is (and how quickly you can undo the first 3 pounds you lose). Even my couple of 3000+ calorie days (what were probably pretty normal days for me before last Monday) left me feeling sufficiently guilty to clean up my act for a few more days.

How it works: create a free account at http://www.thedailyplate.com/ (part of Lance Armstrong's http://www.livestrong.com/), enter basic information about your age, height, weight, goal, and activity level (they give a description of what they consider lightly active, moderately active, etc.), and let the website calculate your daily calorie intake goal. As you enter what you eat, it counts down how many calories you have left for the day and tracks all the other little things to which I never gave a second thought (sodium, cholesterol, carbs, protein, etc.).

Other interesting features:

The site has an impressive nutritional information database of brand name foods, common chain restaurants, and specific ingredients you would include in your own home-cooked meals. It makes accuracy more than reasonably attainable. The farthest I've had to stretch is substituting Zaxby's boneless chicken wings for the Loco's boneless chicken wings I ate last night. They also have generic food items like burritos and tacos. If you're honest about portions (I usually eat more than a literal serving of everything) and err on the side of caution (selecting the 500-calorie generic "burrito" instead of the 250-calorie one), I'm confident that you will see results pretty quickly.

There are also more graphs, charts, and statistics than you can shake a carrot stick at (of which, by the way, I have yet to eat any). The bar graph showing your calorie goal and intake by day for the last week is always fun (even while the 5600-calorie days are still visible). Even more fun is to update your weight daily (which tweaks your goal) and check out the weight graph with a calorie intake graph overlaying it. I'm sure this comes as news to us all, but there is a direct correlation between daily calorie intake and weight loss and gain. Don't believe me? Just ask my calorie intake on May 5 (5600 calories) and my weight increase on May 6 (3 pounds). Shocking, right? I know! Who would have thought?

It also allows you enter exercise information and factors in the calories you burn each day. I haven't used this feature as much as I probably should have, but that's mainly because I don't exercise. I will say that 1700 calories isn't much, so on days that I want more than one fairly heavy meal, I have been far more motivated to get to the gym. When you're down to those last few calories for the day, 30 minutes on a stair-stepper machine can be the difference in dinner at Taco Stand or half of a ham sandwich...without the bread.

Anyway, there are far more tools and useful information on this website than I can describe here (or have even explored yet), so you should definitely check it out for yourself. Before you know it, you will find yourself neglecting your fantasy baseball teams and blogs. Maybe you'll get a little healthier as a bonus.

Banjos and Bravos

Scott Avett of The Avett Brothers

Sorry it has been so long since a post. My neighbor apparently realized someone was mooching off of his/her wireless network or quit paying his/her bill. In any case, I haven't had anything earth-shaking to share lately anyway. Some random thoughts:

Merlefest: mostly bluegrass music festival in Wilkesboro, NC. A creative Christmas gift from my brother David to our other brother John and myself, I knew little to nothing about it before this past December. In short, a fantastic experience. An entire college campus in the mountains overrun with tens of thousands of people, 14 stages, food and musical instrument vendors, and music fans.

An unforgettable weekend complete with a new favorite barbecue place, Doc Watson, Steve Martin, Elvis Costello, The Avett Brothers, and countless new musical interests for me to explore. Assuming I make my way to Merlefest again, I'll no doubt run a few people out of the various open jam tents where regular folks can explore and share in each other's talents. "Amateur" is a word that would flatter me in the company of the people I saw playing in these and the "Little Pickers" (kids) tent.

This event deserves its own post, but since I'm mooching off a friend this evening, I'll try to summarize it by saying that if you like music and have a remotely open mind, you would find something fun at Merlefest next year. Pretty much everything is bluegrass-influenced, but there were definitely some acts that pushed the envelope. I regret that I don't remember the names of the more obscure bands that fit this description, but the most popular of that kind was The Avett Brothers.

Because I'm not an expert on their history or their influences, I'll try to describe them without making too much of a fool of myself. As I understand it, they are a couple of North Carolina homeschool kids from a pretty religious background that tried their hands at some fairly heavy rock/punk influenced stuff 10 or 15 years ago. Returning to their roots, they explored some acoustic bluegrass stuff and created a unique blend of banjo, acoustic guitar, upright bass, piano, screaming, wailing, and phenomenal songwriting that rivals just about anything I've ever listened to. A stubborn devotee to my 3 or 4 favorite bands for at least 10 years, these guys have easily cracked my top 5 and forced me to seriously question who I like how much and why.

Not to be too melodramatic, but The Avett Brothers are a band that I'm confident would reach most people on some level with any amount of serious consideration. You like loud, hard-rockin' stuff? Believe it or not, it is there all over every bluegrass-leaning album. You like quiet, painfully honest ballads? They have more than you can probably emotionally stand. They can create a desire to party one minute and make you regret every decision you made at that party the next. From songs that make you blush to songs that make you want to call your family, their songwriting is no joke. The musical genius is a bonus.

Anyway, enough about The Avett Brothers. Merlefest was a blast. Steve Martin (yes, the comedian) was a highlight for me. I missed several of his songs in search of food, but what I saw and heard was some of the best banjo-playing of the weekend and by far the funniest banter (he claimed one song based on his experience was called "I Think My Masseuse Is Too Chatty"). He even closed with "King Tut." I didn't know much Elvis Costello going into the weekend, but left with a new respect for him. An Elvis Presley cover (Mystery Train) and a Grateful Dead cover (Friend of the Devil) gave me a couple of songs I knew between some hit and miss originals of his own. Still, a weekend with family (and John's girlfriend Christie) was the highlight for me. And The Avett Brothers.

Nothing much else new. My job search continues (or begins). My students have been incredibly sweet, making "Save Sprayberry" and "Save the Spray" shirts for themselves and me. Some also created a Facebook page to the same effect (with 100+ fans last I saw). I can't imagine many (if any) of them have stumbled across this blog, but I hope to let them know somehow, someday, just how much it all has meant to me. After the couple of years I've endured, I'm not sure anyone knows quite what they have meant to me, least of all some teenagers rightfully consumed with their own very real needs and dramas. I'll truly miss all of my students and co-workers. Even the difficult ones. I know it is cliche, but they have all given me far more than I could ever give them.

One final side note: while Jason Heyward continues to be a stud, the Braves still suck. I'd just like to point out that the Braves were 2-0 when last I attended a contest. Not so now. Under .500 and struggling to avoid no-hitters, the Braves have as many issues as ever. And I want to learn to play the banjo.